CQWWCW2005, A different view…

Story by Mr. A.C. Murphy

I had my thoughts set on this Belgian dude, on4ww. Got him last time during CQWWSSB, one month ago. Big laugh, even got him to take out his bike in the middle of the contest and go direction finding this interference I planted to annoy him, smack in the middle of his northwest direction towards North America. It was so bad, he couldn’t even copy the G-boys, man, was he pissed off ! And to say he wanted to break the European record, nah…

Sure enough, on Monday this guy wanted to direction find this bloody thing again. So when he started listening, I just let it pop up for a couple of seconds for him to get the taste of it, and then let it disappear for never to come back. Aaah, that was a good start for MY season !!

I kept quiet during the month of November, even let him work a couple of new ones on this so called topband. He was all in cheers, but I’m patient and a careful planner…

Between you and me, I did keep him busy a bit in November. Just not to get bored. I planted this new interference in his JA direction on the 80m band. He found it quick enough, and seemed not too impressed by it. Ah well, you can’t win ‘em all.

So, come CQWWCW last weekend of November. Gotta give it to him, he did everything possible to make this a successful contesting weekend. He checked daily on his eight Beverage antennas, to make sure there was no interference in any heading. Hell, on Friday he even did a physical inspection on those wires. Man, that must have hurt ‘em when he pulled them dead straight.

That silly dude thought he could get some hours of sleep before the contest, too bad, I got connections with his son. So, him half an hour asleep, I let that boy get him out of bed to take him by car to a party. That’ll do for starters.

Then I talked to my brother Skysmurphy up in the clouds, he still owed me a favor. ‘Sure, can do, will get loads of snow pouring down, starting like 4 hours in advance of this contest you want to sabotage’.

Hehe, if you thought that was all, nah, I planted a new interference again smack in the middle of his northwest direction.

Ok my friends, let the games begin. LET THEM BEGIN !

Gee, that face of his at the start of the contest, I’ll never forget it. Six out of eight of his Beverage antennas were useless thanks to snow static. Good job, Skysmurphy.

All good things come to an end, so when the snow static stopped already 4 hours into the contest, he finally found this annoying and loud noise in his northwest direction. The sheer expression of panic was a pleasure to observe. Got to admit, he pulled quite some north Americans out of the noise on his West Beverage. But not enough for him to win this contest, ha ! Yeah, those costly 3-pointers, he was to lose many of them, guaranteed. A nice little side effect of my northwest interference plant, was that it also lightly disturbed four other directions. Only on his West, Northeast and Southeast Beverages his reception was clear. Got to make a note of that for next time, must be better and full on next time. Still, it was a pleasure hearing him struggle with the ever big load of weak Russians on his disturbed East Beverage, oh yes !!

Come Saturday morning sunlight. Wooha, another moment of triumph. Instead of him going to bed and get some sleep for the next upcoming 16hour night battle, he had to go on the field to check his northwest Beverage. The heavy snowfall did its job. Need I tell more. The snow had converted to ice, and all his Beverages were hanging down. That’ll teach him, for what he did to them on Friday. He removed all the ice, pulled wires again. Had a look at his broken K9AY array, and decided to wait with that one until Monday. Yes, another point scored for me ! Now, I see him moving towards his 40m 4-square array. Aaah, you gotta love all that bent aluminum. Yes, yes, he’s going back inside to get some tools ! Yes, he’s taking down the 4-square… what a success, yihaa !!

It’s 10am now, and his thoughtful wife tells him to go to bed. Guess what, this guy doesn’t wanna give up. What ?? He’s going to direction find my nicely planted interference source, and jumps in his car with some ARDF gear. Good luck, lad, you know I’m the best !

Woohaha, he’s entering MacNight, an American bedding shop. Is he looking for 3-pointers, or what ? Gee, he discovered a faulty air conditioning unit, that radiates like mad. Same interference sound type as at his home, he let the shop guy listen to it. The shop guy admitted electricity was disastrous in the compound. The breaker switch of the faulty aircon was left open, so he thinks he’s back in business. Hahaha, wait until he gets home…

Sure enough, he didn’t find my cleverly disguised interference source. He was close though ! This guy is just not willing to let go, darn. He returns to the scene of crime, and starts off at MacNight. Oooeeehhhiie, he’s getting close to my RFI source. But my name wouldn’t be Murphy, if I hadn’t looked at every detail ! This fantastic contest killing device, I put it near the Porsche showroom. Guess what, they had open-door that weekend, to show the newest model. The showroom was flooded with people ! Jipijajee, tail between his legs, he finally gives up and goes home, chin pointing deeply towards the ground. Another point scored, life can be beautiful !

It’s midday when he gets home, his wife tells him his good friend John called him. A return call learned that another Beverage field was totally wrecked, even more severely than at his own place. Yes, I have many faces and many lives, to give the real world people a jolly good time…especially during contesting…I think I don’t like hams eh eh.

Finally at 1230h, he goes for a 3 hour nap before returning to what was to become a battlefield. Oh yes, I prepared some other nasty stuff for him. What do you think of giving him a good portion of fantastic sounding keyclicks, a few hundred Herz below his frequency, topped off with another portion of keyclicks with some sideband sounding tone attached to it, some hundred Herz above his frequency ? I gotta say, I loved it when he asked those people to QSY, he just got them shouting in his face for the next hour or so. You wanna hear how that sounds, ok, I’ll share it with you : cqwwcw05_ok1_s5.wav

Gotta say, these guys are fun to have a beer with, but they turn wild with a keyer in their hands ! It also kinda struck me, that whenever he told Europeans ‘QRL, pse QSY’, they would simply continue to CQ in his face, making deliberate interference to him. I just love that attitude, don’t you ? It happened twice he told North Americans there was QRL, pse QSY, and they disappeared off frequency without a blink. These guys really disappointed me, tell you the truth!

Comes Sunday afternoon, the dude wakes up. Man o man, he gets on his bike and goes for the direction finding stuff again ! What a loser ! Just give it up, will you ! There is still a chance with all the snow and ice on the roads, he takes a dive, ha ha. Well, he didn’t. Told you, can’t win ‘em all.

So, he drives by the Porsche showroom, back and forth, neglecting the looks from people attending the show. He isn’t quite sure what the source is, yes ! He makes the assumption it is inside the showroom, but it’s not ! With too many people in the showroom, he thinks it’s clever not to disturb the Porsche manager. Coward ! So he goes back home, once again, and fires up the amp to start that silly contest thing again. Too bad I couldn’t get his amp to disturb his neighbours audio and video devices, gotta do something about that next time.

1800h local time. What the heck does he think he’s doing ? He’s putting his best clothes on, jumps in his car and takes off to the Porsche showroom ? Not again, no ! Pfff, he manages to talk to the manager. This man offers him to enter the premises to do an RFI search inside the showroom. Ok, I know when I’ve lost, so I decided to give him a one but last punch for that day. Whilst he was going to his car to get his direction finding unit, I switched off the interference source. Upon him returning to the showroom with his gear, I see him having a last listen outside, to discover that the interference is gone. Totally baffled, he goes inside and lets the manager hear the clear reception on his portable AM radio. By now, he had figured out that it was the Dior sign that was temporarily put up for the show, outside on the pavement that was the culprit. Wanna see my little ‘toy-for-the-weekend? Here it is : dior

At 1730z he returned to his radio business. He was so happy and called his wife to listen to his clear reception. A happy face, that is not permitted in my way of life, so I presented him my last surprise. I always say, if you had good business at the beginning of the day, you better end with the same. So another snow static experience was thrown at him…he nearly pulled his hairs out of his head !! And in the midst of that, his neighbour's cat showed up at his window, with a severe body wound. Hey, that one wasn't planned, but it sure came in handy making him lose another half an hour of operating time...

You’ll have to excuse me now, it’s been a busy weekend, I think I’ll go for a well deserved nap. Have a bad day, all.

Worst 99 de Murphy.